Oh Crappy Crap!

Crap! Literally Crap! There is nothing nastier or smellier than crap or in my daughters words, "yucky poopy".

You know it was bound to happen sooner or later, the down right, God awful, terrible day. Its just not humanly possible and the world is just not sweet enough to let a sweet, loving, all around good week streak continue on unbroken by a no good, nasty, terrible, God awful, shitty day (or two days in this case). Let me elaborate:

Its all started last night on the front steps of Amie's best friends house. She absolutely, under no circumstances wanted to leave and go home. After I forced her out the front door she through herself on the front steps screaming and crying as neighbors came home from work. God I'm embarrassed, I thought to myself. I hurried as fast as I could and carried her down the icy steps kicking and screaming out her best friends name. "Careful", I thought to myself, "it would really suck to fall right now"! After I shoved her into her car seat she refused to let me buckle her in. She flexed her body as straight as a board, leaving me begging and pleading for her to sit in her seat. After we made it home I hurried along to make supper. I stoped. Quiet. Then a giggle. Then quiet. Oh NO! Could this really be happening to me right now?? As I turned the corner from the kitchen into the living room there it was. Life cereal all over the couch and floor and Daisy in heaven easting it up as fast as she could before she got caught. Really? Really? ARRG! Why me?? I Curse the HEAVENS! But wait, It only gets better....

Later that evening after my run I sat down on the couch to eat my dinner. Ahh, how nice I thought to myself (It wasn't going to be for very long though). Amie climbed up on top of me while I was trying to eat and grabbed my full glass of ice water off the end table. Yes, yes, I'm sure you can see where this is going. Water every where! On the floor, on the couch, on the lamp, on the end table! I was Furious! I was so angry to the point I had steam coming out of my ears and flames coming out of my mouth! I screeched a horrible screech that sounded like it came from the devils mouth, "AMIE!!!!!!!" My husband literally came flying into the living room to rescue her. He knew she was in for it...BIG TIME! How can such a small child reek so much havoc?? But wait...it only gets better.....

This morning Amie came into my room as usual to tell me that she was poopy. She then quickly climbed off the bed and ran away. I lay there in bet for a while waking up (she always says she's poopy when she's not, so why hurry??). I meandered out of my bed room and saw her in her toy room sitting and playing. "Awe, that's nice" I thought to myself and wandered to the bathroom to take care of business. Just as I opened the door Amie comes hopping happily to me with a smile on her face, delightfully saying, "poopy, mommy, poopy". I look down and her PJ's are unzipped, her onesie unbuttoned and her diaper hanging down and diarrhea everywhere! On her hands, on her cloths, on her stomach! "CRAP! WHY ME??" I whined to myself as I shook my fists at the heavens once again . Here we have made a full circle...

Crap! Literally Crap! There is nothing nastier or smellier than crap, or in my daughters words, "yucky poopy!".

You would think that they day could only go up from there, well I'm sorry to say you're a fool if ya think that!

Water, Oh water everywhere! Yup. Its what ya think. I was in the kitchen getting ready to make lunch. My daughter was at her favorite spot playing (in the kitchen at our home made water table). She was happy, I was happy, till it happened. The last thing I hear was her little voice yelling "Oh, No!" then whoosh! Water everywhere. It was like Niagara falls in the kitchen! Watter ran under the stove, under the sink, under the dishwasher...everywhere! Once again I shook my fists at the heavens pleading and begging,"Why me?????". Four towels later the mess was cleaned up and my floor was once again clean (a bonus I guess).

Its nap time now and I sit at my trust computer thinking could anything else really go wrong?? Then I hear it. Loud music, my cell phone ringing. I run to find it realizing....I left it in Amie's room!!! Really? Really? REALLY? Yeah, really. Lucky for me Amie didn't wait up, maybe there is a God!