Over the Bridge and Through the Mountans....

...Oh to Amie's Grandmothers (and Grandfathers) house we go! Just a hop, skip, and a looong ass plane ride and before ya know it we're there! It will be Amie's very first time on a plane and I am dreading it! The first flight will only be a little over an hour (not too bad), but the second will be a nice and cosy four hour trip! I am coming equipped with the ol'electric babysitter (DVD player), her favorite movies (which she literally NEVER watches, b/c we're mean and don't let her watch TV), her favorite books, her favorite: Barbies, blanket, bunny, bear bear, and ducky pillow. DREAD! I'm sitting here freaking out just thinking about it. A four hour trip on my lap, yeah like that's gonna be tons of fun!

I can see it now:

We board the plane all smiles, rainbows, and sunbeams. We take our seats and sweet little blue birds sing us a sweet song while Daisies bloom on the seat next to us. During our flight Amie quietly sits on my lap, looking at me lovingly, and when she talks only words of joy fall from her lips. When she gets tired, there are no tears, she drifts sweetly into a deep cosy sleep. Then when we have landed, she quietly wakes up, smiling, and humming birds dance around the cabin while beautiful fairies sprinkle happy dust joyfully onto our heads. Then I wake up and Amie is screaming nonstop because her ears wont pop and the guy next to me wants to smother me with a dirty plane pillow. Yay!

Now tell me, what 23 month old wants to sit on Mommies lap for four hours?? None that I can think of! Oh yeah, and the best thing about this trip is that ... IT'S DURING NAP TIME!!! Oh yay!! Who in the hell planned this trip?? I mean, could I have planned it any better?? I don't know what I was thinking, I wasn't thinking. Or maybe I was, I dunno. The bottom line is that we are going to make this trip tomorrow smiles or not. I just pray that the person next to me is a sweet and loving Mommy or Grandma. Or maybe a child that Amie can play with too. With my luck though it will be a cranky old man, with gnarly teeth, a cane and really bad body odor!

Please wish me luck, cause I'm really gonna need it!

Poor Daisy

Our family has a little white fur ball of a dog named Daisy. Daisy's breed is a Westie and most of the time we all love her dearly. That is except for Amie, they have well, what you would call a love hate relationship. You see from the very beginning Daisy loved Amie. She would lay next to her on the floor during tummy time, wait by Amie's door during nap time, and jump up and down happily and give Amie kisses when we came come. From the beginning Amie loved Daisy. Amie would smile when Daisy licked her fingers, she would laugh when Daisy did laps around the house, and they would cuddle together on the floor during tummy time. Yes, Amie loved Daisy and Daisy loved Amie. That has really never changed. Yes, Oh they love each other all right, but somehow that love has now congealed. Its a bitter love, with happy moments and sometimes just down right mean moments. Now you would think that maybe Amie is the victim of this discombobulated diseased love, but oh the contrary. The poor victim is Daisy.

Amie often wills Daisy over with her sweet innocents, with her majestic trickery. Then the next thing thing you know, the evil trap has sprung and Daisy is stuck. There is nothing she can do. Mom wont help her, Dad sometimes tries to help her, all fall victim to the sneaky trickery of Amie.

Just this morning Amie dumped oatmeal all over Daisy. It was on her head, on her back, everywhere! When I confronted Amie about it she pointed at Daisy and scoled like an old pro, "Oh-No! Dai-sy! Oo-Nooo!". I looked at her, with a smile curling up onto the corners of my lips, "No, Daisy didn't do that Amie. You did, not a choice. You eat your oatmeal, its not for Daisy." Daisy had to get a bath, and she hates baths. Poor Daisy!

Ever since the little light went on in Amie's head that she could do things and blame them on Daisy, it's been non stop. Amie throws her milk on the floor, "Dai-sy!". Amie colors on her hands, "Dai-sy!". Amie sneaks Daisy crackers from the pantry, "Dai-sy!". Now everything is Daisies fault. Poor Daisy.

Well, not only is everything Daisies fault Daisy gets the privilege of playing with Amie whether she likes it or not. Daisy has endured several hours of beautifying. A little bit of lipstick applied 2 million times (pretend lipstick), some pretend nail polish for her paws, "Awww, Pretty!". Maybe a few hair pretties and of course she needs to dress for the occasion. Daisy sits through it all, her eyes glazed over, crying inside. Poor Daisy!

Well, as much as you may think that Daisy has a rough life it sure is pretty good too! Daisy often receives the sweetest hugs from Amie, and soft kisses on her back and head. She even gets an occasional belly rub, though one of their favorite things to do together is play. Amie loves to play chase with daisy. The sound of rolling laughter fills the house as Daisy chases Amie up and down the halls of the house. The sound of feet thumping on the carpet and playful barking is music to my ears. Every now and again a ball rolls by my feet with Daisy following shortly after. Amie laughs again. They can play like this for hours it seems.

You see Daisy has always loved Amie, and Amie has always loved Daisy. They share a very special love. A strong, sweet, almost hateful love.

Sweet Mornings Gone Wrong

This morning I woke up to a cheerful little voice happily saying "Hello Mommy!" her little hand softly caressing gently down the side of my right cheek. I opened my eyes and there she was, beautiful. Her big blue eyes looking deep into mine; I could get lost in them for days! When I look at her I see straight into her soul, so innocent, fresh, untainted and sweet. She smiles at me just like her father, her goofy grin and her chipped teeth from gnawing on the side of her crib when she was younger. She lays her head on my elbow, eyes still looking deep into mine. Her hand still gently caressing down the side of my face. I love how this feels. I love her soft hands, I smile back at her and softly say, "Morning baby". We lay there for a while, looking at each other, at one point she leans over to me and kisses me sweetly on the lips then rubs her little nose against mine. I softly run my hand threw her hair, and down the soft skin on her arm to her fingers. She looks at me and smiles, "tickles mommy" she giggles. She scooched even closer to me, her eyes mesh and become one big blue eye. Our noses touching. She pauses. I wait for a kiss, but instead she sticks out her tongue at me and laughs. I can't help but laugh too. As we lay there we even sing a few songs quietly. She has really become such a beautiful singer, I think to my self, "when did this happen??" Suddenly she pops up and urges me to ,"Get up Mommy, Get up Mommy!" So I sluggishly roll myself out of bed as she joyously bounces out of my bed, ready to start the day.

The day started out well enough, she was a great helper today. She did her everyday morning chores of feeding the dog, and giving the her, her daily treat with her pill inside (helps Daisy control her bladder). She then continues to help me sweep the floor by holding the dust pan for me and dumping the "icky yuckies" into the trash. After that was finished she happily ran around the house picking up all her toys while I finished the dishes up in the kitchen. Days like this just don't happen enough, I think to myself. Then we both get out our vacuums and clean the floors. In no time the house is clean, and Amie was beaming with pride!

When it was time to brush her teeth, she sat down on the floor like she normally does (I do not allow walking or running with the toothbrush in her mouth). Today she decided to brake that rule. So after giving her, her first warning I took the tooth brush way and told her, "All done". Normally this would be no big deal, but today it was a GREAT BIG deal! She threw her self on the floor screaming. "Toooth Brushhh!" She hollered at me, "Amie, tooth brush!". I calmly look at her and reminded her that she was all done. She then stood up and through herself at me screaming and crying. So I peeled my self away from her and walked away, she can throw her fit, that's fine. As I left the room she followed me throwing herself onto the floor every couple of feet. Screaming and crying, then standing up stamping her feet flailing her arms around like she was having convulsions, then trowing herself on to the floor again. She followed me around the house doing this. I turned away from her hiding my face in my hands and arms trying not to let her see me laughing at her. This is one of the funniest things I have ever seen her do! This crazy behavior lasted several minutes till all of a sudden she just stopped. It was done. The fit was over. She then began to play with her toys as if nothing ever happened. I peeped at her from around the corner smiling, thinking to myself, "what in the world just happened?". Children, I wish I could know just for one second what was going though her head. I wish I got it on tape.

Stinking Kids!

Kids! Kids! Kids! Everywhere! Kids! I love my daughter, and I love my daughters friends, but sometimes I can not stand other peoples kids! For once in your life people, control your kids! One thing that I can not stand is the lack of parenting that the majority of today's children receive. I feel like today's parents are afraid to discipline in public, like its embarrassing. To me I feel like my child's outrageous behavior would be WAY more embarrassing than actually having to discipline in public, and believe me I have. I have dragged my daughter kicking and screaming out of many public places to deal with her. Public places are in fact the times when I am more strict, just because we are in public does not mean she gets a free "crappy behavior" pass for the day.

It seems like at any child based event there is always that "one kid" that is out of control. Running around the room, screaming, pushing, climbing on chairs and tables, and taking toys and balls from other kids all the while with that little evil smug smile on their faces . Their parent follows right behind them, their hair a mess, eyes begging and pleading, lost, overwhelmed, frustrated and giving up. God, I can't stand those parents! I pity them. You pay 5 dollars to have a good time and that one child ruins it all! Who's fault is that?? The parents! Well, the parent may argue that, "my child wont listen to me!", or "I tried". Well, I pity them. I pity them because they don't know any better and they should, grow a freaking back bone! Today's parents give up to easy when it comes to their kids. Why give up?? Why only try once? I believe that children are at least worth the effort no matter how terrible they may act. The one thing that is hard for the parent to swallow is that most of the time, it's their fault. That kind of behavior is taught and learned. At some point in their life the child was taught that when they ignore their parent...nothing happens! Mommy only says she's gonna do it, but never does!

To all you parents out there please I'm begging you give your child one warning, if they do it again than take action immediately! That is all it takes. Follow through and consistency, consistency, consistency!

Like today Amie and I went to a nice event, Toddler Time at the Botanical Center. There was story time, music and dancing time. It was nice, except for that one stinking child that ran around the room during story time, climbing on chairs and screaming getting all the other kids worked up and distracted. Then during dance and music time that same child thew a ball at Amie and took a book from her and made her cry. Were do you think that parent was...hiding in the corner, embarrassed for her child's actions. Obviously not embarrassed enough to do anything about it though! She watched him do it and wasn't even courteous enough to give Amie an apology! Wait it gets better. When we were walking though the botanical center looking at flowers, a different child picked up some rocks and through them at Amie (they didn't hit her). The mom thought it was cute! How is that cute?? Then Amie thought it might be a good idea to do that too. Umm, absolutely not! I nipped that right in the butt! All it took was a warning and she new I meant business.

Follow through, and consistency, consistency, consistency! Really it is that simple!

Oh Crappy Crap!

Crap! Literally Crap! There is nothing nastier or smellier than crap or in my daughters words, "yucky poopy".

You know it was bound to happen sooner or later, the down right, God awful, terrible day. Its just not humanly possible and the world is just not sweet enough to let a sweet, loving, all around good week streak continue on unbroken by a no good, nasty, terrible, God awful, shitty day (or two days in this case). Let me elaborate:

Its all started last night on the front steps of Amie's best friends house. She absolutely, under no circumstances wanted to leave and go home. After I forced her out the front door she through herself on the front steps screaming and crying as neighbors came home from work. God I'm embarrassed, I thought to myself. I hurried as fast as I could and carried her down the icy steps kicking and screaming out her best friends name. "Careful", I thought to myself, "it would really suck to fall right now"! After I shoved her into her car seat she refused to let me buckle her in. She flexed her body as straight as a board, leaving me begging and pleading for her to sit in her seat. After we made it home I hurried along to make supper. I stoped. Quiet. Then a giggle. Then quiet. Oh NO! Could this really be happening to me right now?? As I turned the corner from the kitchen into the living room there it was. Life cereal all over the couch and floor and Daisy in heaven easting it up as fast as she could before she got caught. Really? Really? ARRG! Why me?? I Curse the HEAVENS! But wait, It only gets better....

Later that evening after my run I sat down on the couch to eat my dinner. Ahh, how nice I thought to myself (It wasn't going to be for very long though). Amie climbed up on top of me while I was trying to eat and grabbed my full glass of ice water off the end table. Yes, yes, I'm sure you can see where this is going. Water every where! On the floor, on the couch, on the lamp, on the end table! I was Furious! I was so angry to the point I had steam coming out of my ears and flames coming out of my mouth! I screeched a horrible screech that sounded like it came from the devils mouth, "AMIE!!!!!!!" My husband literally came flying into the living room to rescue her. He knew she was in for it...BIG TIME! How can such a small child reek so much havoc?? But wait...it only gets better.....

This morning Amie came into my room as usual to tell me that she was poopy. She then quickly climbed off the bed and ran away. I lay there in bet for a while waking up (she always says she's poopy when she's not, so why hurry??). I meandered out of my bed room and saw her in her toy room sitting and playing. "Awe, that's nice" I thought to myself and wandered to the bathroom to take care of business. Just as I opened the door Amie comes hopping happily to me with a smile on her face, delightfully saying, "poopy, mommy, poopy". I look down and her PJ's are unzipped, her onesie unbuttoned and her diaper hanging down and diarrhea everywhere! On her hands, on her cloths, on her stomach! "CRAP! WHY ME??" I whined to myself as I shook my fists at the heavens once again . Here we have made a full circle...

Crap! Literally Crap! There is nothing nastier or smellier than crap, or in my daughters words, "yucky poopy!".

You would think that they day could only go up from there, well I'm sorry to say you're a fool if ya think that!

Water, Oh water everywhere! Yup. Its what ya think. I was in the kitchen getting ready to make lunch. My daughter was at her favorite spot playing (in the kitchen at our home made water table). She was happy, I was happy, till it happened. The last thing I hear was her little voice yelling "Oh, No!" then whoosh! Water everywhere. It was like Niagara falls in the kitchen! Watter ran under the stove, under the sink, under the dishwasher...everywhere! Once again I shook my fists at the heavens pleading and begging,"Why me?????". Four towels later the mess was cleaned up and my floor was once again clean (a bonus I guess).

Its nap time now and I sit at my trust computer thinking could anything else really go wrong?? Then I hear it. Loud music, my cell phone ringing. I run to find it realizing....I left it in Amie's room!!! Really? Really? REALLY? Yeah, really. Lucky for me Amie didn't wait up, maybe there is a God!

Time

Time. Time is good. Time is Bad. Time can be depressing, it can also be joyful. Time well spent makes your heart sing with joy and fills you full with satisfaction. Time lost fills your heart full of sorrow and regret, wishing you had "more time" or spent the time that you had better than you did. Everyday I feel like I'm in a constant battle with time. Everyday my daughter grows one day older. I feel her ageing before me till one day I'll look up and she's screaming at me about how much she hates me or cant stand me! Maybe I'll look up and shes graduating from high school smiling at me from the stage getting her diploma. Or, the scariest thing I think about is what if one day I look up and time has taken her from me? Time, can be so scary, it never ends, never stops and never waits. Always pushing on no matter how loud you scream and beg for a "Time Out!" like you did when you were a child playing tag. I fear time just as much as I welcome it. Always looking towards tomorrow, towards the weekend. A parent can drive themselves insane just thinking about time, I think I've gone there many times. I don't know maybe I'm a bit odd, but terrible things go through my head all the time, terrible what ifs. My mom and dad used to tell me that I could "what if my self to death", and I think I could. I know I could.

I could drive myself to tears just thinking about how scary its is, not knowing, watching time go by, and wondering what time will bring you. Nobody could have prepared me for how having a child will make you feel. Being a parent is one of the scariest things I have ever done with my life and I have done some scary things. Its like you walk around with your chest cavity wide open your heart exposed. Its so freaking scary what a child will drive you to do. I live everyday for my daughter. She keeps me motivated, she keeps me on the right path. Everything I do, I do for her so that one day she can have the best, and healthiest life possible.

Time is so precious. No amount of money can buy you time. Time, constantly ticking in my ear "tick tock tick tock" pulling at me urging me to take it all in. Yet when your a parent you feel like all your time is spent with your children. Its difficult to set even an hour aside for yourself. You almost feel a bit selfish. An hour, you selfish bastard! How could you take an hour for yourself?? Time. I have a love hate relationship with time.

Away

This last weekend we had to leave our nice cozy and warm home and venture out of town to a most unfortunate family gathering. Not the happiest of gatherings, but also not the saddest either. Amie's Great Grandfather, Brads Grandfather on his Dads side passed away last Friday. Amie only met him a few times as did I. None of us were terribly close to him, and neither was Brad. In fact the sad thing is that only two people were greatly impacted by his passing, that is two of his eight children. You see sadly enough Amie's great grandfather wasn't the happiest or nicest of men. In fact he was a bit scary at times (he scolded me at my wedding). Out of respect for our family we took the long trip to be with his family for the weekend. It made me sad to think how one mans grumpiness or anger can effect generations to come. How differently might his children have turned out if he was kinder or more loving? Maybe his father wasn't a loving man, so he wasn't a loving man, so on so forth. But sometimes that trend can be broken as in Brads case and his three brothers. Amie loved the trip she got to spend tons of time with her uncles Eric and Kyle! My heart always sings when I see the look in her uncles eyes as they look at her, hold her, give her kisses and hugs and play with her. As I watched her interact with them it made me smile. It also made me think of how many children grow up (especially girls) with out positive male role models in their life?? I am so grateful that Amie can grow up having good positive experiences with older men. It makes me feel relief as a parent that maybe now she wont have to go "looking" for it when she grows up. It makes me sad to think that because somebody had a tough childhood that they have to stay stuck, that they cant break free of that and become who they want to be. There are many people who break free of that and that makes me happy, it makes me happy to see that in our own family. Life is how you make it. Bad things happen to good people, but its how we act on those bad things that shape who we are in days and years to come. Everyday we impact people, I want to live my life impacting people for the better not the worst. Its your decision, you choose!

Orifice

Orifice other wise known as a hole that opens to a bodily cavity aka: mouth, ears, and nose. Now why is it with small children that these holes are so fascinating, so amusing that they must investigate them at every opportunity? Whether its walking around the house with the finger resting nicely in the nose cavity or the one I dread the most, putting foreign objects in it like peas, corn, and cheerios! All it takes is one split second head turn and BAM, something is stuck in the nose. When she first did this with a pea I didn't realize that she had stuck something up her nose. She just sat there sniffing her nose really loud and kept sticking her finger up it. I reprimanded her for doing so but she continued to make a huge fuss over her nose. That's when the thought occurred to me that something wasn't quite right. So I tilted her head back and what do ya know....a pea! I thought to my self "oh dear God how will I get this out of her nose?". I went to the bathroom and grabbed the tweezers and it came out like a charm. Well there have been several instances since then. None like the one I had last night!

Last night Amie was sitting at the table eating cheerios for snack when she started to do the nose sniffing thing again. Oh boy here we go again I thought to myself. I tilted her head back and what do ya know...there it was a cheerio. surprise, surprise, you didn't see that one coming did ya?? So I wandered to the bathroom to get my handy dandy tweezers. When I got back to the table I reminded her that food goes in our mouths not in our noses and tilted her head back to get the cheerio. Right as I tilted her head back the cheerio came shooting out at me and hit me in the eye! It was like my daughter had a built in "pea shooter" (pardon the pun) except it wasn't peas it was a cheerio! It came out so fast that my poor eye never had a chance! It startled me so bad that I nearly flipped over the table when I jumped back. Now how often can somebody say they got hit in the eye with a cheerio from their daughters nose?? I can LOL!

Activity of the day:

Little kids love to look at pictures of themselves, whether it be now or when they were babies, they just love it! So I made a book for Amie full of pictures all of her and family and she loves it!

When I did was get a cheap or old little 4x5 photo album and filled it up with pictures of our family and pictures of Amie when she was a baby and now. you can glue or tape the plastic slip covering shut so your child can't grab the picture out. I also let my daughter color and paint the inside and outside of the photo album. You could even add stickers or for older children glue ribbon, paper, and buttons on it was well. This is my daughter favorite book, she spends tons of time looking at it. You can keep it fresh by adding new pictures, it ever gets old!

Activities

Well, it is the dead of winter and though going outside sometimes into the several feet of snow in my yard is fun, the majority of the time..I'll pass. Winter time makes it rough for parents that stay home all day with their children. Especially if you have more than one! I only have one and I feel the pain and agony of winter pulling at me every day. I can't imagine two or more. Maybe someday I will. When your home cooped up all day I find it a lot more fun to do activities and crafts. Have a plan! I don't know maybe its the teacher in me but I like to plan a weekly themes and activities for my daughter. I like to feel like she is still learning and progressing the way she should be even though she is at home. So I plan. I plan crafts, activities and integrate things she should be learning like colors, shapes, letters, counting, ect. into those activities. So I thought it might be nice for the whole 2 of you that actually read my blog if I provided some fun, and cheap at home activities!

1)Home made sensory table: Sensory tables are nice because you can change out the things you put in them on a daily basis. Ex: Sand, water, water with bubbles, snow from outside, dyed rice/noodles (I'll give ya the recipe for that later), beans, ice cubes, water with ice cubes,potting soil, dried corn, leaves, flowers to explore. The ideas are endless. Sand and water tables can be expensive so I made one. I took a laundry basket turned it over and placed a plastic shallow tub on top of it. Vuala! sometimes I duck tape the tub to the laundry basket depending on what is in it. Then I place it in the middle of my kitchen floor with old towels underneath. My daughter loves it, and its the perfect height! Its also easy to clean up just store towels inside of the laundry basket. Hours of indoor fun!

*sensory table activities: You can store activities in plastic tubs, zip lock bags, or recycled food containers.

Sand: with scoops, spoons, empty water bottles cut in half to make a funnel and pouring container and recycled sour cream, yogurt, butter (ect.) containers, bugs, cars/trucks, shells, you can even add a bit of water to it to make a neat texture. Water(with/with out bubbles/ice cubes): with empty containers, sponges, cut up pieces of fabric for different textures to feel, scoops, measuring spoons, measuring cups, bowls, cars, babies, animals,or bugs (plastic).

snow: With scoops, empty containers, plastic animals, home made funnels from cut in half water bottles.

Dyed rice/noodles: With scoops, home made funnels from plastic bottles, spoons, recycled containers.

2)Dyed rice/noodles recipe: Dyeing noodles is fun and easy and tuns of fun for the kids to play with in the sensory table or in a clear plastic bottle as a shaker (glue the cap on). Its easy and kids like to help make it. First you need a zip lock bag for each color of noodle/rice you choose to make. pour in rice or noodles a couple of cups then 1tsp. rubbing alcohol, and some drops of food coloring. Depending on how vibrant you wanted you can add more color or less. Seal the bag and mix, mix mix. Kids like to do this part they like to see the noodles/rice turn colors and feel the texture. Then they are all colored pour rice/noodles onto a paper towel to dry. The alcohol will evaporate and if they choose to eat it, it will do them no harm.

cog. development activities for sensory tables: count how many animals, scoops, containers ect. are in the sand. What color are they?(ex: look at the red bug!, or can you find the red bug?) Can you find any shapes? (ex: look the cup has a circle!, can you find a circle?) how does it feel?(ex: ohh this feels wet, sticky, hard, cold or what does this feel like? Is it cold?) Sorting like objects into the same container either by color, size, or type.

So I think with every post I will now post an activity for the day. I hope who ever is reading this will enjoy it. If you guys do the activities let me know what ya think I hope they're tuns of fun and everybody enjoys them! If not I guess just let me know and I'll stop =).

Easiest

Well, lucky for me these past few days have been pretty eventful free (that never happens)! Its been a pretty easy couple of weeks for Amie and I. I have found that When Amie comes to me and wants to color or play in the snow that is when I make her pick up her toys, and it is working great so far. "So far" being the key word. Any day now she could change her mind and decide that playing in the snow or coloring is not very import and and give up on it entirely. When that happens I'm not sure what I will do. You see at one point threatening to taking away baby and barbie worked, for a week. She would do anything I asked her to do, it was a miracle! The heavens opened, sun beans came blasting down and angels sang sweet sweet songs of joy and happiness. Then one day she just stopped caring, until it was nap/bed time that is. Then it was down right important that she have her babies and Barbie. With out them its like she's sleeping so sweetly not a care in the world, then all of a sudden BAM she realises at 2am that she doesn't have her barbie and baby and wakes up screaming and crying for them. Yeah I could just say "tough luck you lost them" but that would be way to inconvenient for me. Once again there is the doing what is easiest for mom and not necessarily best for child. ARRG! Thus I stumbled upon my waiting plan, and like I said works like a charm... so far.

I'd like to think that I have an unfair advantage being a mom. You see I taught preschool for like 6 and 1/2 years, not to mention the years of training that I have on top of that. I have come into motherhood armed and dangerous! I know through experience how I do and DON'T want my daughter to act. I know the mistakes that parents make that really have no idea what in the hell they are doing. Or just want to do what is easiest. When you almost cut your finger off, easiest acts as a temporary band aid. It feels good now but eventually with out stitches you'll just bleed through, then get an infection, then your finger has to get amputated. Nobody wants that. Same thing goes with children. When a behavior occurs doing what is easiest temporarily covers the real problem. Before you know it you child's behavior has escalated so far beyond the point of "what the hell do I do now??" to "I'm going to drop my child of on the side of the road and leave!". Even I have those moments where I don't know what I am doing, or thought that I was doing the right thing and have found out later that it wasn't. We learn from our mistakes. How can we progress with out making mistakes and learning from them?? We just hope and pray that our mistakes aren't severe enough to cause real damage and traumatise the child forever. The majority of the time they're not. Thank goodness!

Make a mistake - Learn - Evolve - Move on!

Dead Weight

Trying to get a two year old child to pick up toys is a lot like trying to pull a 300lb bag of dead weight. First you approach the bleak job with joy and optimism. If you have high spirits and a can-do attitude anything can be accomplished! After trying and trying again and again with no such luck and not even a hint of a smidgen of movement you think to yourself, "OK, no luck and try another approach, bargaining. So you stand there looking at the 300lb bag offering a plethora of opportunities you know the bag would enjoy. If the bag would only move you would not throw it away, or maybe you would move it to a really cool spot where it could dance and play all day, YAY! The bag does not budge. "Fine! you think to yourself, "if you wont move them I'll take your favorite thing in the whole world away! HA! Take that!" It looks at you all smug and arrogant, even smiling at you! That smile, ARRG! "I'll give that bag something to smile about in a second" you think to your self. But wait, you pull your self back take a breath and offer a bribe. Ah, the bribe, this will do it for sure! If the bag moves then you will give the bag back it's favorite toy you just took way a second ago. But still, the bag does not move. Your blood starts to boil. You can feel your temperature rising, your lip starts to quiver with anger, "FINE!" you scream, "TIME OUT!" HA take that bag, I'll show you who's boss! Time out does nothing, the bad just looks at you in relief that the bag doesn't have to move anymore.

Whats left?? Giving up?? Jump up and down screaming and flailing your arms around, then throw yourself on the floor and through a hissy fit??

A battle that is so hard to win, moving a 300lb bag. Just like the battle of getting a two year old child to pick up toys! IMPOSSIBLE! Yet, we do it anyways and you never give up, at least some parents don't. I don't. Sometimes parents do give up, "It'll be easier and quicker if I do it." Or they don't even pick up at all, "Whats the point the mess will be back in two seconds anyways". Is that really the point? Is that really what we want to teach our kids?? That all they have to do is give up, wait us out and we will do it for them, we will give up?? HELL NO! We are parents, we are adults, we do not stoop to their level (even though we would like to sometimes).Those of us that stick to it will and do eventually persevere! We win! VICTORY! In the end the battle was worth it. It teaches then a valuable lesson, it teaches us parents a value lesson:

Giving up never got anybody anywhere!

Toilet

Ahh, the toilet! So fun, so exciting, so big shiny and white. Sitting there all alone in the forbidden bathroom. Begging, willing, yearning to be used. To the untrained eye it looks normal, not too unusual, but to the sharp keenness of a toddler the toilet is a magical place! A place that yearns to be discovered, aches for attention, starving for a visitor. Its water glistening, waiting, calling out to be touched.

Today, the toilet was all that and more. Today I awoke to giggling and splashing noises coming from...the BATHROOM! I sat strait up in bed..."ohhh NOO!!!" I screamed to my self! If I could have teleported my self there that wouldn't have gotten me there any faster than I did in that single moment. What I saw next will haunt me for life! What I saw next I will Smother my husband for when he comes home. What I saw next should have NEVER of happened!

As I flew into the bathroom, there she was. Standing at the toilet, smiling ear to ear welcoming me with a joyous "MOMMY!" I stood there, froze with fear. Thinking to my self for a quick second which felt like an eternity. "Amie, Yuck, icky" I finally said and I slowly moved over to her, hands out in front of me in a non threatening manner. Then I noticed it. The water was not clear, it was a nice shade of yellow! "ARRRGGG!" I belted out. I swooped Amie up to the sink and began thoroughly washing her hands, with lots of extra soap. Why oh why?? Does this sort of thing only happen to me??

I know my husband was just trying to be courteous by being extra quiet in the morning, and I really do appreciate it. However, when trying to be courteous it is also important to put the toilet seat down. Let this be a lesson to all!

Bliss

Bliss is opening your eyes for the first time in the morning and seeing the sunshine shinning through the windows, and you pause and listen for a quick second and ... quiet. No pitter patter of little feet, no screaming, no giggling, no little voice, quiet. Ahh this is bliss. More often than not, bliss is very short lived. Maybe like a second or two, but today my bliss lasted all day!Bliss is hearing the squeak of the door nob turning in a certain little girls room. Quiet. Then a soft thud as the door hits the wall as it is opened. Quiet. Thumpity thumpity thump thud little feet hurrying down the hallway. Quiet. Another squeak as the door nob is turning, my heart starts to race and a smile forms across my face, I pull the covers over my head and wait. Thud! The door hits the wall as it is flung open in excitement, "MOMMY!" her voice so electrifying that my heart beats faster in anticipation. I can feel her at the foot of my bed now climbing up, but she pauses. "MOMMY!" Bliss is when she rips the blanket from my head and there she is smiling, sweet, happy, and my heart races on as she throws herself on top of me and gives me the biggest and best hug EVER!

Bliss is sitting on the floor with a vibrant little girl with a smile that never quits. Holding your face in her hands so gently, her face so close to yours you can feel her soft warm breath. Bliss is the anticipation you feel right before she kisses softly on the right cheek and then the left. My heart swells with warmth, I have a smile from ear to ear.

Bliss is holding a little hand in yours while dancing to the chicken dance on full blast in the middle of the living room. Bliss is watching your boisterous daughter bust a groove and pull out dance moves that would shame even the best and most distinguished dancers! Bliss, happiness, ecstasy, euphoria, heaven; all reasons why I stay at home with my daughter. Sometimes they are forgotten covered up with anger, screams, whining, and cries. But as quick as all of those things come, they go, and these are the moments I savor the most, today is....

BLISS

Dear God...

This morning I was awoken by a very angry, very shrill screech and whining from a very adorable, very short, brunette with big blue eyes at the foot of my bed. I rolled over and mumbled "umm, hmm...come on sweetie." Still yet she let out another very loud, very shrill, high pitched screech, and proceeded to stomp her feet on the ground. "ohhh, Amie" I thought to myself "My holy freaking head is killing me! Sooo TIRED!" So I mumbled very unwillingly for Amie to come on, climb IN. The screeching and whining continued for another couple of minutes before she was able to figure how to pull herself next to me in bed. "Oh, good" I thought to myself, in reality the correct thought would have been "Oh crap!" How ever, I was feeling optimistic this morning (FYI, I am no longer feeling optimistic!). The shrill screeching and whining for her baby, then her barbie, then the dog, continued on and on, I grumbled for her to knock it off, and "if you want your barbie go GET IT!! ugg!" But, nope that wasn't good enough, nothing is ever good enough for her highness, she wanted me to get it. Ya, like that's gonna happen, I thought to myself. Being a mom some days is so freaking great, like today I wished a horrible wish that I wasn't, that Amie would POOF disappear, just for a second. But she didn't and I'm Glad that she didn't. She makes me so happy, she makes everything I do in life worth it. She uplifts a crappy day like today....

Being a stay at home mom requires some sacrifices, unless you're super rich and have loads of money however, I do not. Some times those sacrifices just catch up to you. Like mine did today. I don't know why today, but they never really bothered me before. Maybe it was the head ache or the lack of good sleep last night, but I just lost it, completely lost it! I sat on the computer looking at finances and lost it. I started sobbing and blubbering to myself, I wish I could do this and give Amie that. I felt even more like the scum on the bottom of the ocean that the bottom feeders eat when I thought to myself how selfish I was for quitting my job and staying home with Amie, for doing a triathlon, for buying running shoes. SELFISH! What kind of mom am I?? I could have used that money for diapers, for wipes, for food, but I used it on myself! I couldn't bare to look my daughter in the eye, I didn't want her to see what a crappy mom I am, could she see?? Would she notice?? After I finished talking to my husband on the phone and blubbering to him about how crappy I am, my daughter walked into the room. I stood there all puffy eyed and pitiful. "Hi, sweetie" I said wiping my eyes as I patted her on her head. She looked up at me with her big blue eyes and her perfect smile and said , "Pretty mommy, ohh mommy pretty," as she hugged my leg. That's when it hit me, she loves me no matter how poor, no matter how crappy I am she will always love me unconditionally. We will always be a family not matter what. Just thinking about it now makes me tear up. We are so blessed, and I am thankful for everything I have. Which is a lot more than most.

Now, I am More Optimistic!