Zero to Sixty

Why is it that little kids are like an emotional roller coaster?? They are like menopausal, bipolar, pubescent, menstrual, and tweens all rolled up into one hormonal little body all under the age of three! How is this possible?? Should I be dealing with this all now?? Don't I have more time?? I feel like I should have more time! Here we are sitting here having fun, enjoying ourselves and WHAM I have royally pissed off my daughter by merely looking at her wrong and she is throwing a fit of a life time, A LIFE TIME!! At these times it can be hard to stay calm, especially when the overly sensitive behavior has been going on for an hour and it's just getting to be extremely ridiculous! I should be able to look at my daughter with out her throwing herself on the floor, or touch her with out her squealing and screaming at me. Just when I am about to pack her up and send her back, she is fine. All smiles and happy and playing again like nothing ever happened. Is this a joke? Is this really happening to me? Is this officially the terrible twos?

Amie can be so sweet and loving, like my mother always told me ( she told me this A LOT), the nursery rhyme : there was a little girl with a little curl right in the middle of her forehead and when she was good she was really really good but when she was bad she was HORRID! Well, I can't believe that I was EVER that bad, but surely that nursery rhyme is Amie to the T! Is it true of all little girls? I'm sure there are children out there that are just horrid all the time ( I feel for those parents). But, during times like this when Amie is screaming and crying at me periodically all day long I could go insane! I feel my blood boiling, my face turning red, my blood pressure rising, and I scream at her , "WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO??". The truth is she doesn't know what she wants me to do or even what she wants to do about it. I see it upset her even more, then I feel down right terrible. I screamed at my baby during a moment of weakness. Have I scarred her for life?? Will she ever remember my red face, bursting in anger yelling at her? I feel like she will never forget. I now feel horrible despair. What if she grows up to hate me? I feel like a terrible parent, like a horrific mother. 90% of these times I just let it roll right off my back, and ignore her. But today, fits like these are very hard to take. it's like she continually pushes the "don't push" button over and over and over and over again.

Then, just now she goes and puts herself in bed for nap. She lays there quietly, singing to herself. Maybe a little scarred, maybe not. She is sweet now, and I only feel worse. Now she has forgotten, I feel a bit better, little kids are so resilient.