Lost

When I first started being a stay at home mom I was a thrilled that now I would have time to really do my makeup and look all pretty every day for Brad. Fresh. Relaxed. Beautiful. I would get up with Amie get her ready for the day then I would get dressed, do my hair, my make-up, and brush my teeth . As you all know from my last post that didn't last. At first I would tell my self, "why do you need make-up the only person looking at you all day is Amie and she doesn't care". Then it was, "Really, why do I need to brush my hair?? It's going in a pony anyways". After a while it turned into me not even getting dressed all day. Why would I?? It just made more laundry for me to do. Then eventually I stopped getting Amie dressed, stopped doing Amie's hair. When we went out we both looked homeless. I stopped caring. When I stopped caring for myself that's when I felt everything around me slipping. I was eating all the time and just getting plain lazy. I would hurry and finish all my chores for the day then I would get so stinking tired of playing with Amie ALL the time. Ugh, seriously how many times do I have to read same book over and over and over before I go crazy?? "I'm SOOO board" was all I would think all day. My daughter was no longer as fun, I was no longer fun and when I did eventually get dressed....my cloths started getting a bit tight. It had to end! I feel like you can loose yourself so easily, loose who you are, get lost in being a mom. So spend your day a busy bee caring for others but what about yourself? Aren't moms important too? Being lazy just ate away at my energy, my soul, I hated looking at my self everyday, and when I did I didn't like what I saw at all. That was it! I had had enough. Somethings got to change!